Dating after death of a spouse
To my surprise, I found myself feeling attracted to him. This innocent exchange of glances made me uncomfortable, but only in a sense that I realized I was no longer a married woman but an available single one. First, I needed to be willing to discuss dating with people who I was close to. He said genuinely that he wanted me to be happy and that he knew Mark would want me to be happy too. I wasn’t sure what she would say and was shocked when she didn’t say anything. Second, I needed to know that I wouldn’t be dating to just fill a void. However I had met Mark online and thought it was a good place to start. It felt a little uncomfortable to be searching for a ‘new’ man after being with one man for ten years.He didn’t hesitate to give me his blessing to date whoever and whenever I wanted. I knew that the void that Mark’s death left in my life would never be filled the same way that Mark filled it. As I scanned through the results not many of the profiles interested me.And if you meet a man after the death of your spouse, when should you bring up your widow status and open up about the experience? People will tell you that you should either get out there and start dating or that you’re moving too fast.I know it’s hard, but try to not listen to any of them.Not surprisingly, a study at Michigan State University discovered that people 65 and older who used the Internet to stay in touch with friends had a more than 30 percent reduction rate of depression symptoms.In other words, no matter the age, people need people.
(The amount and kind of interaction varies, but the need is inherent.) To avoid connections is to invite depression.You are the only person who knows how long you will mourn.One day you will wake up and no longer feel like the weight of the world is on your chest.I felt guilty even thinking about the possibility and could not fathom the idea of dating so soon after my husband had died. I was worried you would never want to date again after Mark.I buried this idea along with the letter knowing I would re-enter the dating scene in my own time. I was by myself at the grocery store and I looked up to find a man watching me with an interested look in his eye. I called him and asked him what he thought about me dating. I’m so happy you are considering it.” Her response wasn’t what I expected, but from both her and my father-in-law’s answers I felt better about moving forward.